He is like the real live version of the state fair..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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