Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
a search helicopter?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
