Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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