I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
