I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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