Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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  (563): i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up. http://tfl.nu/69xm
  Replies (12) Good night (878) Bad night (636)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1074) Bad night (1930)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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  (516): There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong http://tfl.nu/4bke
  Replies (136) Good night (4140) Bad night (743)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend

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  (937): they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend http://tfl.nu/tkif
  Replies (9) Good night (4181) Bad night (722)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

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  (970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3
  Replies (13) Good night (4031) Bad night (996)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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  (307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi
  Replies (24) Good night (5504) Bad night (775)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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  (954): so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral http://tfl.nu/k9rx
  Replies (31) Good night (4587) Bad night (610)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  story of my life.

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  (302): i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch. (484): story of my life. http://tfl.nu/5i11
  Replies (29) Good night (1388) Bad night (4106)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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  (239): I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/yxe4
  Replies (61) Good night (5804) Bad night (843)
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  (626): View more from California

  I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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  (626): I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text" http://tfl.nu/ij6d
  Replies (9) Good night (1637) Bad night (4482)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

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  (832): Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him? http://tfl.nu/7fnz
  Replies (17) Good night (1685) Bad night (4427)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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  (814): No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock. http://tfl.nu/ts69
  Replies (20) Good night (2849) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

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  (306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v
  Replies (11) Good night (6031) Bad night (1178)
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  (818): View more from California

  Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.

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  (818): Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/scsc
  Replies (14) Good night (2204) Bad night (697)
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  (716): View more from New York

  he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."

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  (716): he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...." http://tfl.nu/2b45
  Replies (5) Good night (746) Bad night (1950)

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