well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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