I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
