Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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