Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
