We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
