Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
