we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
