If that was your dad, he is hot
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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