Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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