So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
