this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
