wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
