the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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