No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
