We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
