Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
