I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
