apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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