We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
