Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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