Little spoons don't ask big questions
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
