you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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