and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
