she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
