I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
