There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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