this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
