So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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