I swear she didn't look like that last week.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
