1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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