Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
