oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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