i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize