So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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