Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
