He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
