Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
