she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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