I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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