I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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