addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
