This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
