Only a mothe r could love this liver
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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