Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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