So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im holly from the hills drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
