Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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