did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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