Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Two words: nipple clamps
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