Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
