Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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