You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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