just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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