I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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